When I opened the door Monday afternoon to get the mail, I nearly stepped into a huge bag of gently used, brand-name clothing for boys. Beside it was another huge bag of gently used name brand boy clothing, some still with tags, and a massive, heavy box loaded with a superb selection of delicious and healthy pantry items, and nestled in among it all was a medium gift bag with fresh Comice pears, just starting to blush, and fragrant, perfect clementines. After looking around, up and down our street to find the proprietor of such a profoundly generous gift, and even examining the concrete in our driveway for any tracks or clues (always fancied myself rather Nancy Drew-like) only to find nothing left behind, I carried it all in and place it on our kitchen table, marveling at the enormity of it all. Tucked into one of the clothing bags was a small, simple card, left anonymous, in a elegant red felt-tip script. I had to read it several times, for the tears had blurred my vision.
God knows it's been a year of strife and struggle here, and the waning has began wear us down like sand rubbing on wood. My faith has grown brittle, and my hope has thinned. Sometimes I feel myself becoming bitter and pessimistic, which I resent, but can't wash away. I'm exhausted by hoping for things to get better sometimes. As if hope is like some kind of unicorn or mermaid, a mythical beast that teases me to chase it murky, uncharted forests, leaving me feeling baffled and lost when I finally come to senses and realize it was just a figment of my imagination.
But that massive load of love that someone most carefully deposited on our doorstep, that was real. Real as oxygen, and made hope tangible again. And so I see God working in the people around us, reminding us that we are taken care of and loved, and not to give up, gives us meaning and recharges us, drives our courage and focus, and challenges us to be more attentive to His voice and His nudge.
Thank you, to my mysterious donor with really good taste in clothing and food. Thank you for the thoughtfulness and generosity. Thank you to all the people who have been so loving and thoughtful this past year, taking time to share tea, or have a playdate, help fix our car, or coming out and pray with us until 2 am. Thank you for leaning in to His voice, and for modeling to us how to be in the world. God bless you and your family!
