Mother's Day

Today was extraordinary.  I have been fighting a cold all weekend, and I feared of that I'd be too sick to take up my sister-in-law's great offer to watch the boys for us while Aaron treated me to an afternoon in Portland.  But there was no room to be under today.  I was summoned out of bed to discover an array of beautifully drawn pictures from the boys and a tender, loving card from my husband, along with the sweetest little hand painted clay vase containing three velvet red roses.  We had coffee and breakfast, then we showered, and in our "hot weather clothes" (since it was over 85 today) we went to church.  I even painted my toe-nails.  There Pastor Fitz spoke on a series about the elements church foundations and specifically relationships.  It tied in nicely with Mother's Day, and I was glad that in his closing prayers he mentioned mothers who lost children, and childless women who carry out the work of God by mothering in other ways.   They handed out carnations to all the women in the pews.  It was touching.  The children had loads of little crafts they had made in their Children's Church, and I was showered yet again.

After church at home, we fed the boys and when Cris came to babysit, who also gave me a loving card and treats, we slipped out into the sunshine with a spring in our step and the afternoon wide open.  We didn't really know what to do, or where we were going, so I said "To Powells!" like some kind of declaration.  But it is Mother's Day, so I felt sort of authorized to make decisions.  Around the corner from Powells is a new McMinnimen's restaurant, that just happened to be void of the Mother's Day Brunch crowd, and we were seated immediately outside in the shade with a great view of downtown Portland.  We shared some salads, and I had amazing cucumber cilantro mojito, chatting with no agenda or rush.  Real conversation.  No interruptions.  Just me and my soul mate, my best friend, the dearest man I've ever known, and idle talk about this and that, of our children, always our dear boys.  Even though it's such a great break to have time together, alone, to be adults, it's funny how we miss them and always resort to talking about them anyway.  Then we went to the bookstore where, if you haven't been to Powell's, it's hard to describe, I was euphorically lost in it's towers of books.  I managed to find a book about character traits that I've had my eye on for four years and some others, and just so happened to have a gift card that more than covered the cost!  WOW!  Afterwards, we visited a little gelato cafe that holds a dear memory for us of when I was days from birth with Andres.  Then we came home, to find Tia Kissie had everything under control, and the boys smiling with their deep dimples and arms open wide.
It was really an extraordinary day.  I was so abundantly showered with love and reminded over and over that I was loved.
Sometimes I often don't feel like I deserve this life.  Today I was honored for being a mom, but really I walk away feeling humbled.  Truly, deeply humbled.  Who's to know what we deserve or don't deserve, that is for God to work out.  But I know I'm called to be grateful and content, and I open my heart wide in that knowledge.
But I remember my own mom.  I miss her everyday.  I nearly sent her a card, expressing that I love her and have forgiven her, but I know it would stir the pot of anger that is always constantly simmering.  So I lifted her in prayer instead.