Season of Wonder

Raph getting ready to play outside in the cold, all bundled up and eager to earn his hot cocoa afterwards.

They did a good job of this little craft. Their little fingeres smelled so fragrant, citrus and herbal.  

We picked Aaron up at work early that Thursday so we could make the show at the Tacoma Dome at 7:00, and beat the hellish traffic Tacoma is so well known for.  Andres had no idea what we taking him to, but we told him he would love it.  Here we stopped in a train station converted into a novelty mall for some Thai food on the fly before the show.  

At the Dragon Show!   Andres finally figured it out when were walking into the dome and saw some posters.  He was excited, but nothing could prepare any of us for how awesome it was going to be.  

Dragons flew over our heads!

This was a great gift from grandparents this year.  We all loved it.

I'm so glad Aaron got shots of the boys doing a great job decorating the tree.  Someday I'll have the most perfectly decorated Christmas tree and there won't be any one to pluck the ornaments from the hooks and pitch them to the floor where they shatter into a million shards.  And I doubt that tree will be as wonderful as this one, with five bulbs clustered so lovingly onto one branch, and I'll mis these little hands making the season so merry and bright.

Because wasn't Jesus born to deliver us from the Dark Side?

The boys LOVED this gingerbread playdough recipe, and they played for hours with it.  Andres made elaborate gingerbread men, and Raph made babies and covered them with blankets, and said "nigh-nigh, baby."  It was so fun, and this recipe was super good.  The aroma was amazingly delicious,  better than real freshly baked gingerbread men, and the texture was out of this world.  

Andres' gingerbread playdough gingerbread man.  He's pretty good!

Gingerbread decorating with Tia Kissy!  We had dinner of gyoza and rice, then set about to making our little edible arts.

Tia Kissy was a gingerbread making machine!  We loved her artistic skills here, and laughed at how each one had it's own expression, as if he didn't know what was going on.   The bored one.  The confused one.   The sneaky one.  The depressed one.  The too-much-tv one.  Each little cookie had his own story.  She did a fabulous job making these little guys look classic and yet individual!

Aaron was a great sugar guy, after Cris and Andres piped, Aaron was working magic with the sprinkles

Raph liked watching and he got to eat some of the first samples hot off Tia's assembly belt.  

I was so proud of Andres for working his own piping this year!  He was adamant that he could manage it himself, and to my surprise, he did a great job piping on the orange scented buttercream.  His first attempt fell short of his artistic vision, and he had a mild setback that he had to overcome as he adjusted to this new "medium," but he found his stride and hammered out some really cute gingerbread men.  

When I was little, December was marked by frosty earth, naked trees, sky the color of milk.  School was preparing  us for Christmas concerts (when Christmas was still allowed in school), and there was a buzz of anticipation in the air of the upcoming holidays.  Before my parents slit, my family didn't go to church, so we indulged in secular foci, and mostly having very little if anything to do with Christ or the Mass of his birth:  Santa and elves, reindeer, cookies, trees, tinsel, stockings, more cookies, visiting grandparents, presents, lights, ornaments, and did I mention cookies?  The first time I heard the word Advent I was married to Aaron.  So my Christmas memories from childhood are rather saccharin-loaded empty calories.

I still get excited as soon as our Thanksgiving turkey leftovers are sealed in saran wrap and tucked into the fridge, waiting to become enchiladas or soup or sandwiches, because for some reason that's the tolling bell of Christmas season.  There's so much to do, and so little time.  I enjoy it.  I do.  I always wish I had more to give more.  So I do what I can, as ever, trying to be more creative with homemade gifts.  Including cookies.

These were so cute and fun making as a family!   Our favorite one was the red-eyed guy that wasn't too merry,  but the golf-pants dude isn't smiling either, so I adore him as well.  

I loved how we created little caricatures of each other, Cris with her long black wavy hair, me in a brown shirt, and Andres with a red-lipped smile and a batman shirt.   

Raph will help more next year with the cookies, this year he was the cheer/taste squad.  We have Aaron in glasses  playing his guitar, and Raph is in his striped shirt with curly hair.  

As a mom, and a person of faith, I've been trying to wrap my head around what I wanted Christmas to be like for my family, for my children.  I think Aaron and I have done a fine job of breaking traditions and creating our own, both exhausted and wary of the "this is always how it's been done" practices that we were raised with.  So since Andres' birth we've never had many traditions carried over one year to the next, still wondering what should be carried on, and what definitely needs to be changed.  Since we attended Columbia, we've been more intentional in Advent, and that is one thing that has been number one on our "keep" list each year, although it looks different each year as the boys grow, traditions are slippery at this stage when you're creating them as you go along.  The decorations, however, shrunk down significantly this year.  We had a tree, the Nativity from Granny's home ceramic business in the 60s, a fresh evergreen wreath on our door, and on Christmas Eve,  after our friends and their children left after dinner and cheer, we got out the stockings and left them under the tree.  Nothing else.  Partially because we don't have room in this smallish dwelling.  Mostly because my attention was split, and I was distracted from all the frills of the holiday as I worked hard to wrap up the first draft of my script to send it in to my teacher by Jan. 31.  I wrote 141 pages in about 5 weeks, which was a brutal pace, but I made that deadline by the skin of my teeth.

This December was a departure for us, even when compared to the previous fifteen years of departures in Christmas traditions.  We still lit the tree up, listened to Crosby and Sinatra, watched us some Merry Christmas Charlie Brown, had the elf on the shelf get into all kinds of mischief,  went driving around to look at Christmas lights, decorated sugar cookies and gingerbread men, played games and laughed with friends, feasted on roast beast, and still prayed around our Advent candles.

But for the first time, I'm beginning to evaluate what Christmas really means to me personally, and what I hope to bestow on my children.  I don't want it to be hustle and bustle and materialist commercialism,  although I'm not judging, after all it's exactly how I was raised.  But it doesn't work for me now.  I felt it start to overwhelm me one day early in December when I had a bazillion things to do on my list when I called a friend about some urgent church business and she seemed so calm and collected.  "How you holding up?"  I had asked probingly, wondering what her secret was.  "We just don't make a big deal about Christmas." The response both shocked me and challenged me.  I was asking myself for days afterwards how much more we as a family could omit to keep Christmas as pure and pointed as possible.

One thing that I was championing this season was a reduction in toys.  My children play with anything.  Dryer sheets tied onto pencils are superheroes.   Acorns and bottle caps unearthed in the bark chips at the park are boats, or get away cars for the bad guys.  Aaron and I scaled way back on the toys this year, and, after months of waiting and watching for Dreamworks How to Train Your Dragon live show to arrive in Tacoma, we sent an email requesting grandparents pitch in as a gift to the boys.  That's one of our family's favorite movies, and we love it dearly.  I even tear up every time at the end.  So the dragon show seen live with super large animatronic, real fire breathing dragons made for a special memory as a family together, and allowed us to do something that we wouldn't normally be able to do.

This year (and granted it may change next year) I wanted my family to feel Christmas is magical, a season pregnant with great anticipation, and joy, a time of wonder and reflection, family, magnanimity, music, humility, humanity and community.  And small.  Very small and simple.  Tiny Tim small.  Or lonely shepherds small.  Or sleeping newborn baby small.  Not insignificant by size or volume, but precious and treasured because something so massively valuable is incomprehensibly tiny and fleeting.

Gratis

November closed sweetly, softly.

Raph and I were able to enjoy a day at the park, the sun beaming from a crisp blue canvas, and a brisk wind swirled the leaves around us.  It was a beautiful day, a day that reminded me of my own childhood growing up, when autumn meant leaves, and sunshine, and cool air.  It was a porthole into the uneasy room of nostalgia, the thing I treat like a beast and hold at bay with a whip and chair.  But I focused on my little boy in his red cape and his wild curls billowing in the wind, his warm spirit and our special time together, just he and I.

I love watching him discover, explore, be himself, a marvelous little creature that seems as though birthed from the forest or sprouted from the earth like an uncurling fern, like a wee gnome or, more appropriately, a hobbit.

He found a stick that fit just perfectly in his little hands and clanged it merrily against the mossy rocks, the trees, the crabapples that littered the ground.  I thought it added to his magical appearance, like a wand or staff, as he scampered about over the hills and through the pines of the park.   It was a day I simply went slow and relished.  And found myself feeling so grateful for him in my life, adding such peace and hope and healing.  And for Andres, my wonderkid, my sweet, artistic, storyteller.  This month we snuggled up after school and before quiet time to read Harry Potter, nestled into a cozy comforter and blueberry tea with honey and lemon, sipping around Hermione and Ron, quidditch matches, and potions class.  I'm grateful beyond words for my little men.  They're healthy, bright, and lovely souls.  

We were able to bring the season inside with painted coffee filter leaves, which Raph and Andres both loved, and we hung them in our window against a wet and cold day outside.  

I was astounded at how good they both were with the paint and the effort.  These guys are really good artists, and Andres took it upon himself to add venation to his leaves, and folding them, cut intricate patters from them as we do with snowflakes.  It's times like these where they create their own masterpieces and I'm amazed at these little men growing up without me able to keep up sometimes.  How can it be that I have a 6 and 2 year old?  It's a precious life, and one that I celebrate, even when it's hard and lonely work, this parenting thing, I celebrate it and am indescribably thankful for them and my husband.  

Because with this autumn as the leaves change and flutter to the rain-soaked ground, our life is undergoing a similar season change.  Aaron finally submitted his application to UW and now we wait, to see where God sends us next.  Who knows what will bloom in the spring?

So it closed, as all Novembers do, with Thanksgiving.  For the past five years we've been sharing this feast with our dear friends, as our four boys played upstairs or in the basement, true as cousins.  This year we missed another family and their little boy who are usually a beloved part of the tangle, but it remained a wonderful night with a most delicious vegetarian fare, laughter, and what for me feels like family.

And I look at it and marvel at the abundance of our life.  This is a challenging time, and hard as it may be, as lonely and sad as it sometimes is, I am moved to take stock of the overwhelming gifts in my life, in the life of my family, and friendship, especially now more than ever.  

We may not have money, and we may not own property, or have impressive jobs, or all the answers when it comes to parenting, but this I know:  these gifts, these blessings, have been given to us, to my family, and although I don't feel deserving, I raise them up and dance among them.   They blow around me, and lift me up.

Trifecta Monday

I'm not complaining.  Honestly I'm not.  Bare with me, because I'll come around.  

Here's the thing.  Initially I was going to do this really cool daily project with the boys this November to take time out of the day and pray around one specific thing we are each grateful for, you know, building up for Thanksgiving, and just to get in the practice of being grateful on a daily basis, appreciating all the blessings we have and take for granted.  I even had a really cool art activity to tie it into, a visual of being rich in blessings, something they could grasp and understand at their developmental levels.  It was going to be a real Gold Medal Mom Moment, a thing we could grow closer together in doing together, and learning about being thankful in a cute, colorful way that could be displayed and remembered.    

But life has a way of derailing us sometimes.  We get sick, our kids get sick, our bank account is empty and so is the fridge and the gas tank and the cough syrup, and suddenly that really cool art project gets lost in the shuffle of just basic survival.   Do we have meds for the boys to sleep?   How creative can I be with dinner tonight? (Popcorn is a filling meal, it turns out.)  When will we be able to go to the doctor, fill a prescription, and not be financially set back for a month because of it?  I am really the best primary teacher for my child since I snap at him for things most 6 year old boys do, like squirming in the chair and horsing around rather than focusing and getting his work done?  Does my youngest child have special needs?  If so, what do I need to do for him?  If not, do I have special needs?  If so, how many can be remedied by crying in a hot shower after lunch?  

Remember, I promised I wasn't complaining.  I want to remember this, to jot this all down in an honest way because things won't remain this way, and I don't want to forget.  Our life will change and this season will pass and I want to tell my future self and children that there were some freaking hard days in there.  

Because today was that day.  You know, the one where everything is harder, everything hurts a little more, things are a little darker than you know they really are.  Yes.  That day.  

There's stress with Aaron's application to UW, and the deadline is in a month.  Today was Grocery Shopping Day that didn't transpire because my meds were shockingly pricy, so no groceries this week.  We are ALL sick.  I had the flu last night and Aaron woke up with a cold this morning , the boys are both coughing all over the place like fiends.  It's germ city around here.  Raphael painted the kitchen in maple syrup this morning, and although it smells warm and cozy because of it, you stick to the floor everywhere you step, and his coughing woke him from his nap, meaning that he screamed and cried. All. Day. Long.  Any fun learning activity was completely down the drain at school today so I gave Andres pages and pages of skip counting practice.  No wonder he was squirming in his seat, eh?  He said "boring" for the first time in my presence today when I wouldn't let him watch TV or play Angry Birds and I chastised him, saying it was bad word not allowed in the house.  

Not complaining at all.  But I do want to remember these days, too.  Because although that "I'm grateful for" activity would have been really cute and made for a wonderful blog post, the truth is I'm trying to be content right where I am, even on these days where I know I'm failing all over the place.  Especially on these days when I'm failing, I appreciate things much, much more.  I appreciate my health more, my family more, my home more, our penny jar more, hot showers more, that canister of popcorn kernels more...suddenly every small thing that has always been there all along is precious and treasured.  

There are some freaking hard days, and they teach me so much about what really matters.  I'm grateful for that.  

Woh. Where'd October go?

This is what it looks like when you neglect blogging for a month.

Bare with me, because I need to chronicle this, since not only is this blog a scrapbook of my family during this precious and fleeting season in our lives, but it's also solid evidence that I managed to do some fun things with my children when they were little.

I was so organized for homeschool in October, it's crazy, and highly improbable of replicating again in November (a week in and not much is planned).  I had prepared not only math and language arts content activities but crafts, snacks, and even library books around themes every week of the month.  It was a ton of work, but a ton of fun, too.

It went like this:

Week 1:  Apples and Leaves
Week 2:  Pumpkins and Scarecrows
Week 3:  Bats, Owls and Spiders
Week 4:  Skeletons
Week 5:  Witches, Ghosts, and Monsters

I already described Apple Pie Day during week one, then for some reason dropped of planet Mud and Bubbles.  Well, week two's baking was not nearly as smooth, and though those little pumpkin shaped pumpkin tarts were yummy, it was high stress for Mom and nearly caused me to help myself to a glass of merlot before lunch as the tarts baked in the oven and the boys (mandatorily) played outside.  I impressed myself with creating a fun sight word game called "Rotten Pumpkins"  (thank you Pinterest for sponsoring this entire month), and playing math games with spider rings.  Snacks were especially fun, making fangs for our Bats, Owls and Spiders week, and Chocolate Bones for Skeletons week.  And to make it extra whimsical, we met a new landmark with Andres when we started reading Harry Potter together.  I have him read to me from his little phonics books for 15 minutes, then I read to him for 45.   We snuggle up on the sofa as Raph naps upstairs, and with my hot lemon tea and his blueberry tea (just my lemon water plus frozen blueberries and honey) we get all cozy, sipping away merrily, and relish our time with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Pumpkin Tart Day.   Although I was stressed and failing all over the place, he did a great job.

Here Raph is working the KitchenAid, and he did a really great job getting it all in there.

I'm so proud that my guys are good helpers in the kitchen.  

Final products were pretty cute and totally yummy.  We had so many that we took then to church with us that night and shared then with kids in the nursery.

Fangs Snack Day:  I thought it was appropriate for bats, spiders, and owls week, although works for vampires as well.

I made a little station and they could assemble their own...

Fangs!

Look at Andres' face:  he loved this activity!

Even Raphael had a good time spreading the almond butter on his apple slices.

Snacking!

Funny "Dracul-Andres!"

This was our snack for Bones week:  pretzel sticks and marshmallows covered in white choco.

Best.  Snack.  Ever.
"I'm eating bones, Mom, REAL bones!"

My mom painted this little ceramic candy dish when I was Andres' age and every Halloween when I was growing up this adorable witch had a cauldron full of Jaw Breakers.  This year, I liked it full of bones.

We made our first ever pinecone bird feeders this year.  One morning Andres  pointed at the tree they hung from and shouted "the pinecones are gone!"  And sure enough just a green string dangled from the branches.  The culprit may have been a squirrel, or some have suggested big crows or ravens.  It remains a mystery.

Raph is starting to take his craft efforts pretty seriously. 

He LOVES bats, mostly because he loves Batman, and Andres and I picked this out for him to color.  He was quite proud, even though most of the marker was on his hand.  

Andres had his eye on that paper skull at Craft Warehouse since they brought out the Halloween stuff.   Finally I got it for our Spooky Art time on Wednesdays.  And those lovely flowers met me one morning when I came downstairs.  Aaron had made coffee and gotten me flowers because I had had a rough day the day before.  I'm a lucky lady to have him.

Such stern concentration!  I love that he's really getting behind this whole crafty, art thing.  

Here's the maestro at work. 

He did a great job on the details, shadowing the eyes and highlighting the cranium, jaws and teeth.   He has vision!

It was so wonderful to have Papa Mano and Grandma Jane pop down for a visit, and we invited Cris out too.  I told them to come hungry.  We had my Black Bean Enchilada Soup which was a hit, a fresh green salad, and Andres and I whipped up some more of those cute little apple pies to have with coffee that afternoon.

Raphie calls pumpkins "balls," and was so excited to have found just the right one.  I love this shot of him, it just captures his wonderful spirit.

I love how the boys both jumped right in to help Papa up the hill with the barrel of pumpkins.

They loved feeling helpful, and it was so endearing to see them want to help.

Eight years and going, the same people gather together for the same thing:  The Annual Pumpkin Carving Fiasco!  
I designed this evite at Purpletrail.com., and  on the back of the card I stated the year's categories for prizes to be selected by the four original hosts  (me, Aaron, Shannon and Micah) and the categories were:

Best Original Jack

Scariest Jack

Funniest Jack

Best Pattern or Dremel Jack

(yes, dremels, as in electrical hand tools, because our folks are hardcore pumpkin carvers artists!)

The boys and I had to spook-up our home for the Pumpkin Carving, and with some construction and tissue paper created an eerie scene in our big window (sort of inspired by the evite).  Toilet paper roll bats hung from the ceiling to add that extra special boo factor.  Love Andres' wicked cat with the scary face!  It really is SCARY!

Here is my first ever Drambuie mix, essential for making Rusty Nails:
2 parts aged (12 years+) Scotch, 1 part Drambuie, mixed on rocks.

But the best part, the VERY best part of a Pumpkin Fiasco, is our peeps.  
These people and their children are totally awesome.  We're abundantly blessed by them.

Blurry because it's like herding cats trying to get a photo of eight kids who are like cousins who love hard, play hard, and are in a constant state of delirium when they get together.

Love how boys are jumping/wrestling on the sofa and girls are sitting placidly at the table.

At the old house we had a long covered back patio, and rain or shine, we carved our jacks there.  But in the new place, without a covered area, and torrential downpour outside, Aaron had the great inspiration to have the carving in the garage.  It was a brilliant idea, and our people were so cool they didn't care at all that the ambiance consisted of a piano and a clothes drier, camping gear and Christmas decorations.  We're amazingly blessed by these gracious, wonderful friends.

And the envelope please....

Prizes this year had to be on the low-cost end.  Never knowing who the lucky winners will be I have to prepare for both kids and adults.  I forgot to get pictures of the prizes, but they were super cute:  An orange mug with Orange Spice Tea and Starbucks Instant Pumpkin Spice Latte mix, pumpkin pie candles,  pumpkin marshmallow s'mores kits, and pumpkin pie play dough that smelled deelish...thank you Pinterest!

And everything during October builds with thrilling anticipation towards the climax of Halloween.  Andres inherited my inability to make choices, and when once-a-year-choices come around (like picking a Halloween costume) the anxiety really goes through the roof.  First he was planning to be Boba Fett, then he switched it to being a Red Ninja, then finally Aaron showed him a clip from Avengers, and he resolved to be his newest favorite superhero, Iron Man.  I had wanted to do Raphael as a Hobbit ever since last year (because wouldn't he be the best hobbit ever?!?!), but the day before Halloween (which is also my birthday) I came down with a killer head cold.  So rather than buy the stuff to turn my wee one into Raphbo of the Shire, I just reused an old Superman costume that Andres wore for Halloween when he was two.  It pleased him right fine, as he's way into Superman at the moment.  We joined our dear friends the Votrobecks for the forth year in a row to trick or treat in the same sweet little Victorian neighborhood downtown Vancouver.  This was Raphael's first trick or treat experience!  But the day consisted of birthday candles, and hang time at home with family.

Feeling really sick on Halloween but so glad that my husband took the day off from both work and school to spend with us, and Dad, Karen, and Grandpa came down from Granger bearing gifts to celebrate my birthday.

I made my own cake this year, under the weather as I was.  It was simple, cute and even a bit creepy.  Grandpa Jearl gobbled up the white choco ghosts, and Andres loved the tombstones (Chessmen cookies colored black--thank you Pinterest).

My husband got me flowers every week all month long.  What a wonderful, dear man.  He inspires me in so many ways.   I'm so grateful for him, beyond all words.

I love this shot because both Sarah V and I are calling to the boys "look at the camera!  smile!" and finally Andres speaks up and says, "I am smiling, Mom!"  Cracks me up, because in this picture he clearly is paying attention and smiling despite the mayhem around him.

Heroes!

Here Andres is showing me the spider hanging from the porch and reminding me that  there's a house with bigger spiders dangling from it down the street.  Memory like a steel trap, that one.

Poor Raph, he was always a little behind the other boys, and by the time he'd get to the door, the rest were saying "thank you and happy Halloween!"  I'd let the person know that one more was coming, and he'd get his pick of the loot.  And he carried that Spiderman toy like a relic all night long!

Aaron held Raphie's hand just like he did with Andres when he was little.    So precious.  I love these days.

Superman has a fro!

By the very last doors of the night, Raph was able to be in the thick of things at the "trick or treat"  knock.
Bless his heart.

For my birthday, Aaron got me a dozen crimson roses.  They were so big and luscious and fragrant.
I'm not worthy of this amazing man.

 And of course, along side homeschool content teaching, planning, crafting, snacking, and driving, and pumpkin carving, decorating, entertaining, aging (35!), headcold recovering, screenplay writing, grad schooling, 9 to 5 working, and trick-or-treating, there was just the normal LIFE stuff.

Here my little man has it all under control as he stirs the sautéed onions on the stove.

Again, thank you Pinterest for this great sensory bin idea.  Raph LOVED this and played there for an hour while I did dishes and prepared a meal.

7:30 am.
Aaron is making his lunch, Raph is spilling water, and Mr. Shakespeare still in his nightshirt is spinning his latest yarn about Captain Underpants.

He's working hard here, the maestro.

A shot of his effort.  I love this because not only did he write this without any help from me or Aaron, and not only is it well illustrated  with a superb action sequence, but it has a stirring plot going on, something that as a writer myself, struggle with.  

"KATPINUNDER PANS."
Yes, here the Captain flies in his tighty whities to engage in battle against the villainous Evil Tree Man.  

Clearly he has an eye for detail.  I've always know this about my son, Andres, but it's really starting to show through his art.  Look at the clock.  We're going to cover telling time this month, so he has no idea how many minutes are on it, he has no clue what the hands are or do or represent, but he nailed it, long hand and long hand, right down to the bells.

And we watched us some Dinosaur Train, too.  Because when you're snuggled under a downy blanket with your brother on a cool fall morning and watching T-Rex living in harmony with a Pterodactyl family,
life is pretty freakin' awesome.

And I marvel at my boys, their spirited personalities bursting with potential, the way they show such grace when I fail them, their unique gifts and talents, and their capacity to learn so much so quickly.  I'm proud of them for who they are, and so blessed and challenged to be the mom they need.